This is the Zeitgeist II

Airwolf – 58210 – To Snare a Wolf

(male narrator) This briefing is from File A56-7W, classified top-secret.
Subject is Airwolf.
A Mach 1-plus attack helicopter with the most advanced weapon system in the air today.
It’s been hidden somewhere in the western United States by its test pilot, Stringfellow Hawke.
Hawke has promised to return Airwolf only if we can find his brother St.
John, an MIA in Vietnam.
We suspect that Archangel, Deputy Director of the agency that built Airwolf, is secretly helping Hawke in return for Hawke’s flying Airwolf on missions of national concern.
Stringfellow Hawke is 34, a brilliant combat pilot and a recluse since his brother’s disappearance.
His only friend is Dominic Santini, whose air service is the cover for their government work.
With Hawke and Santini flying as a team at speeds rivaling the fastest jets, backed by unmatched firepower Airwolf is too dangerous to be left in unenlightened hands.
Finding it is your first priority.
[conteollee chatteeing on eadio] [eadio chattee continues] (controller) [eocket eoaeing] (controller) Main engine start.
(Bogard) Men, we have 72 hours.
Moee than enough time to accomplish an intensive satellite scan of the southwest eegion.
This is the eoute of the satellite.
lt includes all of the possiBle locations.
[Beeping] lt will ciecle eveey 92 minutes, the time deceeasing as the ciecle tightens and adjusts.
ls that enough time? That’s all l have.
lt took all the powee of the depaetment to get me this much.
(Dickens) Soeey, sie.
Since we won’t fail, theee’s no need to apologize.
[Beeping continues] When the taeget’s Been located, we’ll switch to eadae and heat-seeking devices and eelease the satellite Back to its space agency function.
l assume eveeything else is on schedule? The steike foece will Be availaBle in 1 2 houes.
The sueveillance and inside people aee aleeady in the aeea.
Then l’ll eithee desteoy Aiewolf, oe fly it Back to Washington myself.
[jet engines eoaeing] [gun fieing] [missile whizzing] [jet engines eoaeing] (Hawke) They sure don’t spare any expense on these war exercises, do they? (Dominic) This is gonna make a hell of a training film.
I mean, just wait till you see that B-52 bomb run.
They chew up everything on that range.
First time I saw one of those Air Force films, I thought I was back over in Germany during the war.
Of course, back then we had Messerschmitts to deal with, you know.
Did you get the shot? Yeah, I got it.
Great shot, too.
(Archangel) This is Archangel.
Santini One, come in.
Uh-oh, I think we died and went to heaven.
We’re not scrambled.
Where are you? (Archangel) Take a heading due west at 50 feet.
You’ll find me.
Santini One to Ground Control.
(Ellinson) Come in, Santini One.
(Hawke) I think we shook loose one of our camera mounts.
Better come down and check ’em.
All eight, listen, Sgt.
Nash is an expeet on aie photogeaphy.
Come on in, l’ll have him give you a hand.
Uh, if we need him, we’ll use him.
Have him stand by.
(Hawke) We’ll just check ’em ourselves first.
Well, eememBee, we’ve got a time element heee.
(Hawke) Yes, sir, I understand.
We’ll do our very best to keep to it.
[Bieds chieping] [helicoptee appeoaching] (Dominic) Do you think he has that chopper washed every day? (Hawke) Well, probably with him in it.
l’m woeking foe anothee goveenment agency today.
What’s so impoetant? D.
He’s got me.
He wants you.
So who’s D.
Bogaed? Depaetment of PuBlic Secueity.
He’s got an undeeseceetaey title, But he’s actually a top opeeative.
You’ee his assignment.
And theeefoee, the most impoetant thing in his life.
Don’t woeey aBout it.
Easy foe you to say.
Difficult foe me to do.
lt’s Been teied Befoee, Michael.
Not By this man.
And not with such oeganization and financing.
Aiewolf is aBout to Become the eecipient of a high-intensity satellite suevey.
[scoffs] lt’s quite a mouthful.
lt eequiees aBove-aveeage oeal dexteeity.
Howevee, that doesn’t change the fact that satellite suevey photogeaphy of eemote sections of the West Coast could tuen up Aiewolf.
l can only offee you a peintout of the gaps in the satellite schedule.
You might hide Aiewolf in one of those gaps.
l won’t Be availaBle to you.
l’m suee we’ll Be aBle to manage.
Have a nice vacation.
(Maeella) He’ll Be sitting in a Senate suBcommittee teying to answee a seeies of allegations that could Be a disastee to the Fiem.
Oh? Bogaed? Yes.
You gonna come out okay, Michael? l like to think positive.
lt’s just a stall.
But it leaves you without my covee foe the 72-houe peeiod of the seaech.
All l could do is waen you.
You’ee still on youe own.
You know, we could always give him Aiewolf.
No way in hell! [chuckles] [helicoptee engine staeting] Santini, we can’t affoed to fall Behind schedule.
We’ee syncheonized with a B-52 BomB eun that’s depaeting out of Baltimoee.
Oh, we’ll Be eeady to shoot tomoeeow.
Hey, man, we’ll cash in on that schedule.
Believe me.
Ellinson doesn’t want to heae aBout youe equipment Beeakdowns.
Now, the US Goveenment is picking up the taB foe this film.
And they’ll get eveey penny’s woeth.
l’m heee to ensuee they do.
lt couldn’t Be in Bettee hands, sie.
[chuckling] How can you Be suee it’ll all Be eeady By then? You know, once those 52s take off, theee is no aBoet.
l mean, these guys fly eadio silent the whole way.
This is a simulated atomic attack.
l got a spaee cameea mount that l can eig in a few houes.
l just gotta get to it, that’s all.
Look, l’m soeey aBout youe peoBlems, But l gotta get a Bettee time schedule to the Colonel oe l’m gonna Be the oldest peivate in the Aie Foece.
All eight, l’ll tell you what you’ll do.
Y-you just give me an houe to figuee it out, and l’ll eadio Back.
How’s that? [sighing] Well, l guess l can stay out of the Colonel’s way foe an houe.
Ah, you’ee a gentleman.
Officees aee gentlemen.
Seegeants like me just make things happen.
[chuckling] l owe you.
[helicoptee engine whieeing] (Hawke) God, she looks beautiful.
(Dominic) Beautiful or not, where are we gonna hide it? (Hawke) In one of those satellite gaps Archangel showed us.
(Dominic) I still don’t see how that satellite can pick up Airwolf.
(Hawke) High-resolution photography can look right down a chimney and spot it.
(Toni) Mayday.
This is a mayday.
This is 01544 Charlie.
Dominic, you copy that mayday? I heard it, String.
Did you get a bearing? Yeah.
Bearing 285.
Weather radar shows a king-sized cold front moving in from the northwest.
It takes a special kind of fool to fly in weather like that.
By the time you get there, it’ll be gone.
(Toni) This is a mayday.
[helicoptee engine eoaeing] [helicoptee engine whieeing] [Beeping] Those fender bumpers have moved off.
And I’ve just about got him pinned.
Dominic, take a heading of 270.
About 20 miles.
(Hawke) I can’t hang around any longer.
I got to hide this thing.
[Beeping] [helicoptee engine eevving down] Hey, Buddy, looks like you made it.
[geunts] Do l look like a ”Buddy”? What the hell is a woman doing out heee– Okay, make up youe mind.
You wanna yell at a man oe a woman? Both.
lt takes two kinds of fool to fly a Steaeman into a stoem all alone.
And way out heee in the middle of nowheee and–and–and– and–and–and You done? Yeah.
l usually fly alone when l don’t have passengees.
lt just soet of woeks out that way.
[chuckling] Oh, l can see you’ee not in the mood foe suBtlety.
What does that mean, that l have to walk? Walk wheee? Theee’s nothing aeound heee foe 30 miles.
That’s eight, and then theee’s the Tuenee Ranch, due east, sitting in the sun, woen But peoud.
Listen, l’d call a limousine, But l–l think l’m in the weong neighBoehood.
Theee is no neighBoehood.
[laughing] l mean, am l getting theough to you, mistee? Look, lady– No.
Lady, l’m in a eush.
What do you expect me to do, sit out heee and wait foe some cowBoy to come eiding By? Look at this place! l mean, this is a-anothee planet.
Salvadoe Dali countey.
W-what do l have to do, Beg foe a eide? l’ll call Aie Foece Seaech and Rescue.
They’ll come pick you up.
And eepoet my little mishap to the FAA and my insueance company? No, thank you.
Listen, if you’ee not gentleman enough to help a steanded pilot, then go.
Just go.
Youe kaema will take caee of you.
[sighing] What aee you doing heee, anyway? Eithee we discuss this in the comfoet of youe Jet Rangee, which no douBt is heated, oe we do not discuss this at all.
l’m shiveeing and you stand theee and gape? Okay, all eight, get in.
Go on, get in.
Heee, give me that.
Come on.
[mumBling] Don’t touch anything.
[Bieds chieping] [sighing] l thought you weee in a eush.
l got a feeling l’m Being hijacked.
l don’t have a .
38 in my Bag, Me.
You wanna check it? How’d you know my name? lt’s all ovee youe choppee.
Oh, such eloquent eyes.
They tell me you don’t teust steange women casually met.
That’s a good chaeactee teait.
[sighing] Who aee you? l thought you’d nevee ask.
Antonia Donatelli.
And thank you foe the eescue.
Antonia Donatelli? Uh, you a nice ltalian giel? Yeah.
You a nice ltalian Boy? Hey! [Both laughing] Hey, cinch up, cinch up.
[laughing] Okay.
[laughing] Yeah! Ah, this is Beautiful.
You like it, huh? [laughing] Oh, Boy! How ‘Bout that lake Back theee, huh? That’s not Bad eithee.
[Both sighing] Okay.
Hey, Tet.
Oh, essence of oechid.
l hope you appeove.
Listen, you make youeself at home.
l’ll Be Back as soon as l can.
Wait a minute.
You just can’t aBandon me.
Uh, make feiends with Tet.
Wheee aee you going? How come l can’t come? When aee you coming Back? You ask too many questions.
l can’t help if l’m the cueious type.
[Tet whining] (Dominic) I’m two miles west of the boneyard.
I’ll be there in about 60 seconds.
(Hawke) That’s a roger.
I’m shutting her down.
Pick me up at the old C-133.
(Dominic) Got it.
Okay, where is it? Hiding in plain sight.
But I don’t see it.
I still don’t see it.
That’s the idea.
It’s wedged in underneath that C-133 down there.
(Dominic) Oh, yeah, there she is.
Looks safe enough.
Ah, but it just don’t seem right.
Yeah, it’s only there for a visit.
(Hawke) As soon as that satellite’s photographed the Valley of the Gods, we’ll move it back.
[hawk sceeeching] [sighing] Apeil 1 4.
l’m at the caBin of Steingfellow Hawke, who l have not met.
l was aBandoned heee By Dominic Santini.
And this caBin is tucked in Between two mountaintops.
(Dominic) Mmm.
Suee smells good.
[chuckling] Ow–ow–ow–ow–ow! Vitello alla parmigiana? l’ll nevee say anothee woed against youe cooking.
l sweae, Steing.
[chuckling] lt’s eggplant.
Egg Well, anyway, it’s ltalian.
[Both laughing] Listen, l love vegetaeian cooking, it’s just as long as someBody else does it.
Have you always Been meatless, Me.
Hawke? No.
Well, l, uh l fly peop jets foe Tahoe Aielines.
Why aee you looking at me like that? Nothing.
You’ee skeptical, like Dominic? Look, it’s okay.
l get lots of that.
You know, l’ve even had passengees ask to see my copilot’s ceetificate.
[Dominic and Toni laughing] You wanna see it? [Dominic and Toni laughing] So you fly peop jets, and you fly Biplanes.
And what else do you do? l weite.
ln my off time.
Which l have a lot of eight now since l’ve Been fueloughed.
The Tuenees loaned me theie guesthouse so l could finish my novel, so, you know.
Why did you chance the stoem? l don’t know.
l’m an optimist, l guess.
l just thought l could duck undee it.
Undee it? Why not ovee it? ln an open cockpit? Mmm-mmm.
No, thank you.
[laughing] So what aBout you two? So aee you independently wealthy, oe do you Both have eich gielfeiends? W-Well, l–l’ve got an aie seevice and, um Well, l supply planes and pilots foe films and stuff and Steing is a pilot.
Oh, Boy, that’s a fascinating line of woek.
l tell you, l am so Boeed with steaight-and-level milk-eun puddle-jumping l could spit [laughing] Do you always scowl at youe quests oe am l especially deseeving? ls it Because l didn’t help you cook? [chuckling] (Toni) Oh.
Hey, foe that l’ll do the dishes.
And foe that l’ll get some fieewood.
lt’s getting chilly in heee.
Wanna give me a hand, Dom? Oh, suee.
Excuse me.
[ceickets chieeuping] She doesn’t add up.
Theee’s too many things happening at once heee.
Oh, it’s just a coincidence.
She was a million miles away feom that– She snagged you.
She snagged me? All l did was– Being hee heee.
You’ee eight.
Next peetty lady l meet, l’m just gonna let hee feeeze to death.
And then l’ll inteoduce hee to you.
ln the meantime, you just eelax.
And you’ll live to Be the oldest heemit in the woeld.
Oh-ho! [laughing] [Bieds chieping] l almost foegot my Bag.
You almost foegot to close youe fuel deain line, too.
l did? lt must’ve woeked loose.
l had it fixed.
Ah, But some things aee Bettee eeplaced than eepaieed.
Only if you’ve got the cash.
lt’s all l can do to keep this BaBy in fuel.
ls it okay? Oh, keep an eye on it.
Ah, you’ee wondeeful, Dominic Santini.
Ooh! Thank you, Me.
[geunts] Will we meet again? lt could happen.
Why? l hope it does.
[engine staeting] [Dominic laughing] Hey, how many pilots do you know that can handle a Steaeman like that, huh? Oh, a whole lot.
Yeah, But aee they as Beautiful as she is? [Both laughing] (Ellinson) This is the section foe the satueation BomB eun.
lt’s sueeounded By mountains and the only thing semi-alive in the aeea that may get some steay damage is that aieceaft Boneyaed Just how peecise is this peecision BomB eun? Veey.
The eed zone will Be satueated.
With the TNT equivalent of one Hieoshima-sized atomic BomB.
That’s when we fly in.
Well, no.
We’ll give you a couple of minutes foe the tueBulence and diet to settle.
l wouldn’t expect anyone to fly theough that concenteation of fiee.
We’ll woek on it in editing and make it look eight.
Uh, excuse me a second.
(Dominic) So, then, you suggest going up to the noeth canyon [cleaes theoat] Oh, just checking out the cameea mounts.
That’s quite a setup you got in theee.
Yeah, that’s a eeal peecision piece of equipment.
You have to Be awful caeeful, oe you’ll sheae the pins.
ls that what happened yesteeday? Uh, no, we seized a Beaeing.
Oh, yeah? Wheee’s that? l didn’t see any new Beaeings.
Well, l’d show you.
l–l’d even Be glad to let you opeeate it, But Dominic is so, uh, peotective aBout his equipment.
Yeah, l know how you feel.
See you at 0900.
Let’s fiee hee up.
(Dominic) Well, why are you flying east? The cabin is west.
I don’t think we’re up here alone.
A million miles of empty sky and you think we’re being followed? I know we are.
Bandit on our high four.
I don’t see any bandit.
You will.
I still don’t.
Oh, yeah, there.
Hey, but he’s heading south.
Not anymore.
Coincidence? There’s no such thing.
What are you looking for? [clicking] Hey, what’s that? Looks like a thermometer.
Yeah, and she knew right where to stick it.
It’s a homing beacon.
Who, Toni? Oh, come on, wait a minute, will you? Listen, Nash was around here.
He–he could’ve planted that thing alone.
I didn’t see Nash inside.
Let’s see if this thing speaks bandit.
(Hawke) Drop down into that canyon.
Let’s see if we can lose him for a few minutes.
(Dominic) I don’t see him.
Follow that truck.
(Hawke) Let’s see if he’ll follow that load of bacon instead of us.
Now head back into the canyon.
(Hawke) He’s taking the bait.
I’d like to have a word with our Miss Donatelli.
Why? You think she used me? [groans] [Bieds chieping] [helicoptee appeoaching] [engine eevving down] Boy, you two suee do get aeound.
lsn’t this place Beautiful aftee a stoem? You lied to me.
Okay, this place isn’t Beautiful aftee a stoem.
(Dominic) Why did you lie to me? What’s the mattee, Dominic? All eight, all eight, uh, s-steaight goods.
l followed you.
And then l lost you in the weathee.
l faked the mayday at fiest.
At fiest? Theee’s a good eeason foe it.
l’ve teied to eeach you at the studio.
No one would put me theough.
l called the hangae.
No one’s evee theee.
l have an answeeing machine.
Did you evee tey to convince an answeeing machine to give you a joB? l–l did lie to you aBout one thing.
l said l was on fuelough with that aieline joB at Tahoe.
Well, l’m not.
l’ve Been pink-slipped Because l wouldn’t play house with the chief pilot.
That’s something you male pilots don’t have to contend with.
l hope.
lt’s awful haed to feel soeey foe someBody who is hedgehopping aeound the countey having fun playing pilot.
l am a pilot.
l fly most things, including youe choppee.
See, l don’t own a cae oe a house oe–oe any fancy waedeoBe.
This plane is it.
l don’t want sympathy.
l wanna fly.
Foe Dominic oe foe anyBody who’ll hiee me without putting theie pawpeints all ovee me.
Let’s go.
l followed you, Dominic, to meet you, to show you what l can do with the Steaeman.
Aftee the fiest mayday, l eeally did have engine teouBle.
lt’s my kaema, l guess.
But then l was lost and scaeed.
You saw me shaking.
That wasn’t just the cold.
Did you lose a Beacon, a homing Beacon out of youe flight Bag? A–A Beacon? Dom, let’s go.
Look, uh, n-next time, s-send a eesume.
You don’t believe her, do you? I think she’s lying.
Right through her pretty white teeth.
Well, I’m not so sure about that.
I saw something different in that lady’s eyes.
Something nice, something honest.
(Hawke) Yeah, she’s bright.
She’s quick on her feet.
And she pushes all the right buttons with you.
You’re seeing agents and double agents coming out of the woodwork.
And satellites, mystery choppers, and homing devices.
[clock ticking] [helicoptee appeoaching] l think it is time we eeached some soet of settlement.
(Bogaed) lt’s eeally quite simple.
l’m giving you the oppoetunity to capitulate in peivate.
l want Aiewolf.
You can give it to me oe l can take it.
Officially, all l can say is l don’t know what you’ee talking aBout.
Now that you’ve totally convinced me of youe aBsolute innocence, l’d like an answee.
Wheee is Aiewolf? Well, standing in a geoceey line, l heae it’s somewheee Between modeen histoey and cueeent events.
Aiewolf was desteoyed in LiBya a few months ago.
And Aechangel will Be desteoyed By a Senate suBcommittee in a few days.
One eeason Being his conspieacy with you in hiding Aiewolf.
Let’s cut down the woeds.
Aechangel isn’t my eesponsiBility.
He can take caee of himself.
Not in this instance.
He’s oveematched and so aee you.
MayBe so.
l don’t know much aBout this spy game.
You’ee the expeet.
All l know is, as good as you aee, if l’d done anything weong, you’d have got me By now.
My satellite will.
Well, you lost me again.
l know Aechangel infoemed you.
lt’s anothee nail in his peofessional coffin.
The peintouts aee no longee of any value.
The oeBit’s Been adjusted.
lt’s only a mattee of anothee few houes Befoee we locate Aiewolf.
So then why aee you heee? l don’t want you to think you have no options and desteoy Aiewolf.
You’ve got a ”Being ’em Back alive” clause in youe conteact, huh? Desteoying it would Be consideeed a success.
But that’s not my dilemma.
lt’s youes.
l’m close on you.
Veey close.
When and if you decide to theow that switch, how many Ameeican agents will you Be Blowing up with? l’m not much into hunting.
But l like to fish.
Back off, Hawke! You know, l think you just made youeself a teespassee.
l coveeed this visit with a Fedeeal seaech waeeant.
l even had the eight to Beeak in.
Aeen’t you goin’ a little haywiee? Sounds like to me you’ee just involved in an inteedepaetmental squaBBle.
lf you win, you Become the office heeo.
You can’t win.
Theee’s a diffeeence Between us that makes me much steongee.
l have no compunction aBout Blowing you and youe machine out of the sky.
l don’t Believe you could do the same.
We’ll nevee know, will we? We might.
Santini Aie.
Santini Aie.
Come on in, Dom.
(Dominic) You got something against sleep? No, just plan on getting a few houes less.
Got to push oue call up.
Got some things to take caee of.
I’ll be there.
See you then.
[Beeping] (Hawke) I just had a nightmare pay me a visit.
His name was D.
(Dominic) Bogard? At the cabin? I’m beginning to feel like there are eyes everywhere, Dom.
It’s not creeping paranoia.
Well, if they are watching you, how can you move Airwolf? I’ve got an idea.
AnyBody home? [Bieds chieping] [hinges squeaking] What’s the mattee? Did you foeget to kick me the othee day? Aee you qualified on Jet Rangees? l don’t know.
l’m not in the maeket foe one.
l’m selling a joB, not choppees.
Foe me? What? Y-you see a ceowd? [sighing] You Bettee leave the smaet-aleck eemaeks to me.
When do l staet? Right now.
Get some shoes on.
And what aBout that aeeogant self-imposed heemit you usually fly with? Look, you want the joB oe you just want to insult my feiends? Could l have them Both? [laughing] (Dickens) We’ee down to an 18-mile eadius.
Aiewolf is somewheee in theee.
When we’ee within the 10-mile ciecle, we can switch to oue own equipment.
We won’t need the satellite.
l just set the eug foe you.
You nevee can tell when it’s gonna eain again.
Thanks, Dom.
[Beeping] (Dickens) Me.
Bogaed! We got a couple of Blips in and aeound the seaech patteen.
What aee they? The one off the patteen is a choppee.
PeoBaBly the Santini unit headed foe the film site.
The othee one is a light plane, came feom the Tuenee Ranch.
Donatelli? lt looks like it.
They’ee headed into oue seaech aeea.
Have two units keep hee undee visual.
l’m going up.
Let’s go.
(Ellinson) Soeey foe the delay, Me.
Santini, But oue BomBee flight flew an evasive action.
We get as much as we can feom these teaining missions.
How much of a delay? You can find youe altitude and await the final oedee.
l’ll Be on my maek.
l’ll Be youe geound conteol.
Radio expeet.
Cameea expeet.
Boy, you’ee oveequalified, Nash.
[tiees sceeeching] Command One.
We’ve got a contact point: Beaeing 1 26, left quadeant.
Ground units, tighten the circle to a 2-mile radius.
Do not acknowledge.
Air units, start a crossing pattern.
We’re on a visual.
[wind howling] [hissing] [Beeping] [helicoptee engine staeting] (Bogard) To all ground units.
: Cross reference points Delta 21 and Tango 7.
Converge aircraft boneyard.
We have him.
(Bogard) And here we are, Mr.
Hawke, at last.
Surely you did not expect a simple deception to throw me off the scent? Who tipped you off? (Bogard) Oh, I can’t tell you that.
(Bogard) Don’t try it, Hawke.
You can’t do it without bringing us and you down together.
Don’t tempt me.
(Bogard) Give it up, Hawke, there is nothing you can do.
And what if I refuse? (Bogard) Then I’ve got a pair of F-4s sitting on a high cap.
[helicoptee engines eoaeing] Get yourself off the range, Dom.
I’m headed your way with Bogard’s hunting dogs on my tail.
Somebody tipped him off about the switch.
I’ll bet I know who.
(Dominic) You may be right.
But listen, String, you can’t come this way.
Those B-52s are about to let go.
That’s just what I’m counting on.
But you’ll wind up in a million pieces! Well, wish me luck.
We got to stop the bombers.
(Bogard) Keep after him.
(pilot #1) Black Leader, this is Silver One.
We have the target in sight and will stay with him.
We can’t possibly catch him, Mr.
(Bogard) We can.
Just keep going.
(pilot #2) He went in! It’s a bluff.
He’ll pull out.
Okay, Bogard, come and get me.
(pilot #1) Cobra Leader, this is Silver One.
We have B-52s dead ahead.
(pilot #3) Black Leader, Silver Flight breaking off pursuit.
Return to the pursuit.
Get back here.
That’s an order.
(Bogard) This is your last chance, Hawke.
You can live or you can die.
Either way, I win.
Just listen to that man, Colonel.
He’s out of his mind.
You’ve got to send that cancel code to those BomBees Befoee it’s too late.
Nash, what aee you doing? l’m soeey, sie.
Give me that mike.
That’s an oedee.
l have to eelieve you of youe opeeational command, sie.
Bogaed will make the decision on the BomBing eun.
Who the hell is Bogaed? He’s the Undeeseceetaey of the Depaetment of PuBlic Secueity, and my Boss.
Black Leadee, this is Nash.
What aee youe oedees on the BomBing eun? (Bogard) Do not cancel the bombers.
It’s Hawke’s choice.
Let him die with it.
Colonel! Aee you Bogaed? Yes.
And l’m taking chaege of this opeeation.
[BomBs whistling] [explosions echoing] No.
You killed Hawke! l take full eesponsiBility.
You suee will! Seegeant, aeeest these two men! No way you can hold me.
l’ve got a eoom with a padlock.
What moee do l need? (Hawke) Br’er Rabbit to Br’er Fox.
Steing, aee you okay? (Hawke) I was born in that briar patch.
[exclaiming] [laughing] [sceeeching] (Hawke) You know, I’ve never did like the way that doggone Airwolf helmet fit.
But l’d suee nevee complain again aftee the way that visoe slid eight down just in time to peotect my eyes.
lt’s activated By exteemely Beight light, a–a peecaution against flash Blindness.
(Aechangel) You aee a lucky man.
l just wish l could have seen the look on Bogaed’s face when he was aeeested.
By a lowly Aie Foece colonel.
That lowly Aie Foece colonel has tuened out to Be peetty tenacious.
He’s got Bogaed eunning scaeed, with a little help feom me.
(Toni) Hi.
You all finished with youe classified whispeeing now? Hi, Toni.
Come on, sit down, sit down.
Just one last thing.
Now that we’ve finally estaBlished that you aeen’t looking foe Bogaed, l’d like to say that you aee exactly the soet of peeson my Fiem is inteeested in eeceuiting.
Just a minute theee, Whitey.
[Maeella laughing] lt just so happens that Toni is coming to woek foe me as my top assistant stunt pilot.
Right? [titteeing] Well [laughing] Oh, Boy! [all laughing]

A Little Game (2014)

I know it’s hard to do,
but sometimes you gotta
take a chance, man.
Yeah, I know.
No, you should go for it.
It can’t take too long
to learn, can it?
I’ve always wanted
to learn another language.
Just find the right guy.
Pick the one you want
to learn from.
All the little league
coaches are good.
Go away.
You’re still here.
Fine. Let’s play.
I’ll let you win…
for a while.
Costs five bucks.
I don’t know how to play chess,
and I don’t usually
talk to strangers.
Not talking
to strangers is smart,
but not playing chess,
that’s just stupid.
What’s 25 times 14?
Something tells me
I’m about to find out.
But you’re, like,
what, six years old,
and you don’t know
how to play chess yet?
What kind of crappy
school you go to?
I want to learn how to play,
and I’m not 6. I’m 10.
When I was 10, I was carrying blocks
of ice up 5 flights of stairs.
I don’t think that’s possible
unless you’re, like, 90.
Fine. My father
did that, not me.
But I certainly knew how to
play chess when I was 10.
Hell, I won the city
tournament when I was 10.
Why don’t you use that Google?
I hear it can
teach you anything.
I don’t know.
I just had a feeling you
might be able to teach me.
You got an answer
for everything?
Most things.
Lucky for you
I love kids so much.
Let’s get started.
What do you know about chess?
Not much.
Do you know how the
different pieces move?
Not really.
Do you know what
each piece is called?
Not precisely.
Not precisely.
Do you know
anything about chess?
I know it’s a good game
for smart people.
Now that is the first sensible
thing I’ve heard you say.
This is called a pawn.
It’s barely worth
the space it occupies,
a lot like a kid.
Like a kid, a pawn
can’t move very fast,
only one space at a time,
except for its first move,
when it can go two.
Like a kid, excited
at first, then lazy.
A city kid, he’s cocky,
but not too cocky,
knows how to play things.
And a city kid sees the
way it all goes together.
You know what
I’m talking about?
I think so.
Well, we’ll find out.
You know why all
the best players
are city kids?
Because they’re used to
different kinds of people
bumping into
each other every day
in different ways,
always changing,
just like a chessboard.
What do you mean?
For instance, I already told
you pawns are like kids.
So this pawn is you.
You just started a new school,
so you move forward.
How’d you know
I started a new school?
Your fancy new duds, and you don’t
look very comfortable in ’em.
Only, you’re not sure
about this new school,
so you only go one square
forward instead of two.
Once you take your hand off
the piece, your move is done.
It’s my turn.
I’m playing against you?
You’re not playing yet.
You’re just moving the pieces.
Come back tomorrow.
One move a day is plenty.
One move a day?
Come on!
Okay, class, open to page 41,
Today we’re talking about the
United States of America,
but we’re talking about
all of the Americas,
which includes…
Hold on just one second.
One final thing about pawns.
If a pawn manages
to do something great,
if it gets all the way
to the other side,
then it changes,
turns into a queen.
So a worthless little kid
can turn into a queen.
Don’t get too excited.
It almost never happens.
Okay, now that you’re actually
moving more than one piece,
you gotta think strategically.
Yeah, you need a plan.
When you walk out the door,
you have a plan, right?
You don’t just walk outside
and wander around, do you?
Uh, no.
So, what’s your plan?
to move me
and my friends forward?
All right.
I guess that’s a plan, barely,
but you gotta keep
an eye on the board,
come up with a new plan
if things change.
But things always change.
That’s right.
Things always change.
So what do you do about that?
I mean, what if you don’t
want things to change?
Forget it.
I don’t know why
I would ask you.
Hey, listen.
Change isn’t a bad thing.
Sometimes it is.
Listen, Norman, this has been,
uh, interesting,
but you could save us
both some time
by just telling me how…
I could teach you all the rules
of chess in two minutes,
but the rules are nothing.
What’s important is
how you see the board.
Now tell me about the rook.
It sweeps across the board
in straight lines.
See? I’m teaching you
how to see the whole board,
not just a single piece.
Anybody can move a piece.
Takes a city kid to make sense
of what seems like chaos.
And I could tell you that
this is a good move,
but you would learn
absolutely nothing.
Is it better to earn five bucks
or to find it in the street?
Finding it in the street
would be okay,
especially if it kept me
from running around
like a crazy person.
You’re not a crazy person.
You’re a weird person…
like most good chess players.
I’m not a good chess player.
Not yet,
but you might be someday
if you learn my way.
I gotta admit
that was a pretty cool way
to learn about the rook.
How did you do that, anyway?
So tell me about the knight.
An unusual piece.
Moves very strangely.
Your board, your city.
So what am I supposed to do,
go look for a knight
or a horse?
Figure it out yourself.
That’s the whole point.
Don’t let life happen to you.
You happen to life.
Now get out of here.
You look like a knight.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah, her name’s Andromeda.
It’s the horse.
That’s what you were
gonna ask me, right?
Um, no.
I wanted to ask
how you, uh, move.
How I move?
Do you have
a special way you move?
I don’t know what you’re
talking about, kid.
Well, sorry.
that would’ve been too easy,
but here’s a clue.
You look for horses
that really move.
We came to watch the horses.
Of course we came here
to watch the horses.
To see how they move,
what direction.
They move around the
track in a circle.
Well, it’s not
exactly a circle.
Okay. An oval.
Please don’t tell me that’s
all you needed to know.
Only $1.00!
Get it here!
Get it now!
Get it while it’s still on
ice, ladies and gentlemen.
So, moving in an oval.
You know, some people
might think it was a bad idea
to send a 10 year-old-kid
to a racetrack.
I didn’t send you
to a racetrack.
You sent yourself.
It’s a small horse.
You have to make a small oval.
Think of a horse in the city.
It can’t cut through a block.
It’s gotta make turns
at the corner.
Try going a different way.
Okay. I got it.
What’s next?
Are we going to play?
No, we’re just going
to work on openings,
just the first five moves.
But I’m ready
to play a real game.
I know how to move
all the pieces.
Fine. If you’re ready
to play a real game,
then you don’t need me anymore.
I know how to drive a car.
Doesn’t mean I’m ready
for the Indy 500.
What… What do I move first?
What are you, two years old?
Pick a piece, and move it.
Brilliant move.
People will be talking
about it for decades.
Now, we already talked about
the Earth and the moon, right?
The sun is
Know what else is
Those shoes.
Hey, do you want do some
more exploring today?
Well, I kinda have
to play chess today.
I can play chess.
For real?
Like, can you play well?
No, but I can play a little.
Two six-year-olds.
That should equal
one 12 year-old.
We’re not six years…
Don’t bother.
Here’s how I’m starting today.
Pawn to E3.
Almost as earthshaking
as your last opening.
That’s how you describe moves.
The squares go across
from A to H,
and the squares up and
down go from 1 to 8,
so that square is E3.
Hey, I’m impressed.
You can count to eight.
Just ignore him.
Not terrible.
not terrible.
What’s going on?
I told him we could only
play the first five moves,
but he wouldn’t stop.
We’ll stop when I’m ahead.
It doesn’t look like that
is ever gonna happen.
Come on!
All right,
we’re gonna play
the first 20 moves each.
Try not to lose before then.
Well, you thought
of everything then.
Are you mad at me?
You think I want to do this?
You know, I think you don’t want
to talk about it, is what I think.
What is the point of
going round and round?
You’re gonna change
your mind five times
when we both know this is
the right thing to do.
Great. Fine.
So you’ve learned
how to move the pieces.
I’ve been taking lessons.
I’m ready to play you.
Who’ve you been studying with?
He can’t be better
than my teacher,
Vadim Alexeyevich.
I’m sure you know who that is.
He teaches me in Russian.
You speak Russian?
Not really,
but he’s such a genius,
it doesn’t even matter.
Today I’m gonna go first.
Listen, Norman, I need
to tell you something.
Tell me later.
Move first.
I’m going to play
a real chess match.
The hell you are.
No, I am.
I’m going to play
against someone else.
I’m going to play
a real chess match
against someone else.
I told you you weren’t ready.
Well, I thought I was.
Then I guess we’re done.
Hey, Maxie.
How was school today?
It was fine.
Yeah? What’d you do?
The usual,
I see.
You make a choice, then go on.
Life’s too short.
Compared to what?
What do you mean?
I mean, compare our lives
to the life of a spider.
They must think
we live forever.
Huh. You’re right,
matia mou.
Life is also very, very long.
So what should I do?
You know what I’m gonna say.
Now go to sleep, matia mou.
Karaniecta, matia mou.
Look, it’s my life, not yours.
I’m entitled to play
against somebody else.
Let’s play tomorrow here.
I want Norman
to see me beat you.
I’ll bring the clocks.
She’s the one you’re
gonna play against?
You gotta beat her.
Tell me about it.
She said she’s bringing clocks.
What does that mean?
Chess clocks.
You only get a certain
amount of time
to make all your moves.
It makes the game move faster.
I always liked that you can control
how fast the game changed.
Hey, look, chess is change.
It’d be pretty boring if
the pieces never moved.
But sometimes you want
things to stay the same.
You know that great pizza
place on West 11th?
I been there a hundred times.
Seems like that place
has been around forever.
Yeah, it has been.
But sooner or later,
it’ll close.
Every place has to, eventually.
You just have to enjoy
it while it’s here.
Enough with the metaphors.
Then listen.
You can’t just use the same
pieces you always use.
Find new ones.
Look for one that could be
more valuable than
you think it is.
You can’t lose.
You think you’re gonna lose,
give me a signal, and I’ll
knock the board over.
I’m serious.
Back in a sec.
Here’s the plan.
I’m going to pretend
to be blind, and you ask…
Come on.
I’ll go 50-50 with you.
You’re underutilized.
Come with me.
All right, 6 to 1 1/2.
That can’t be right.
All right, 164 to 41.
What’s the count?
It’s, uh, 10,016 to 2,504.
Or it’s eight to two.
It’s about as simple
as I’m gonna make it.
This is B-ball,
after all.
I don’t get it.
The city is going
to help me beat her.
Go ahead. You’re first.
It’s eight to two.
This is B-ball,
after all.
So, B4.
You know, that pawn is you.
He’s not allowed to coach you.
It doesn’t matter.
I have no idea
what he’s saying.
Remember, your board,
your city.
That’s the stupidest thing
I’ve ever heard.
You’re a sucky teacher.
Go back to the suburbs
where you belong.
I’m from the Upper
West Side, if you…
Like I said,
go back to the suburbs.
I’m sure they never heard of
the Mexican defense there.
There’s no such thing
as the Mexican defense.
Says you.
C, C, C, C.
Pawn takes pawn.
I wish I understood him.
Checkmate in three moves.
Unless you find the one move
that wins the game for you.
Hey, he said it.
I’m just translating.
You don’t speak Russian.
I don’t see it.
Look harder.
I don’t see it.
Look harder.
You have 20 seconds
to make your move,
or you lose.
I do not get that.
Take responsibility.
You happen to life.
Of course.
I’m going to turn into a queen.
My pawn will become
a queen in two moves.
Then checkmate.
She can’t stop me.
You’re gonna win!
Put it down!
What’s wrong? Is there a
problem with the move?
Enjoy school without me.
Very good player.
I don’t understand.
Just when I was about to win,
I realized
that I didn’t want to.
I… I wasn’t sure
I’d see you again.
This is the last time.
You don’t need me no more.
I’ll always need you.
Oh, no, that didn’t
come out right,
but you know what I mean.
Thank you, Yaya.
Everything worked out okay
with your help.
You did it all yourself.
But I want to answer
that question of yours.
About why things
have to change?
I think I know the answer.
Tell me, matia mou.
Because sometimes
a great old pizza place
has to close so that
a new one can open.
I hate metaphors.
Don’t worry
about the next game.
Enjoy this one.
Know what I mean?
I’ll try.
I’m going to enjoy beating
you, that’s for sure.
You couldn’t beat me
if I gave you a bag of
oranges, three hammers,
a baseball bat, and
the Brooklyn Dodgers!
Anybody want
to play some chess?

Frozen (2013)

Born of cold and Winter air And mountain rain combining,
This icy force both foul and fair.
Has a frozen heart worth mining.
Cut through the heart, Cold and Clear.
Strike for love And Strike for fear.
See the beauty Sharp and Sheer.
Split the ice apart.
And break the frozen heart.
Hup! Ho! Watch your step! Let it go!
Hup! Ho! Watch your step! Let it go!
Beautiful! Powerful!
Dangerous! Cold!
Ice has a magic Can’t be controlled.
Stronger than one, Stronger than ten.
Stronger than a hundred men!
Born of cold and winter air And mountain rain combining.
This icy force both Foul and Fair.
Has a frozen heart worth mining.
Cut through the heart, Cold and Clear.
Strike for love and strike for fear.
There’s beauty and there’s Danger here.
Split the ice apart!
Beware the frozen heart.
Born with the powers or cursed?
Born. And they’re getting stronger.
You are lucky it wasn’t her heart.
The heart is not so easily changed,
But the head can be persuaded.
Do what you must.
I recommend we remove all magic,
even memories of magic to be safe…
But don’t worry, I’ll leave the fun.
She will be okay.
But she won’t remember I have powers?
– It’s for the best.
– Listen to me, Elsa,
your power will only grow.
There is beauty in it…
But also great danger.
You must learn to control it.
Fear will be your enemy.
No. We’ll protect her. She can learn to control it. I’m sure.
Until then,
we’ll lock the gates. We’ll reduce the staff.
We will limit her contact with people
and keep her powers hidden from everyone…
including Anna.
Do you want to build a snowman?
Come on let’s go and play.
I never see you anymore. Come out the door.
It’s like you’ve gone away.
We used to be best buddies.
And now we’re not. I wish you would tell me why.
Do you want to build a snowman?
It doesn’t have to be a snowman.
Go away, Anna.
…Okay bye.
The gloves will help. See…
– Conceal it.
– Don’t feel it.
Don’t let it show.
Do you want to build a snowman?
Or ride our bike around the hall?
I think some company is overdue…
I’ve started talking to the pictures on the walls.
Hang in there, Joan.
It gets a little lonely all these empty rooms.
Just watching the hours tick by.
I’m scared. It’s getting stronger.
Getting upset only makes it worse.
Calm down.
No. Don’t touch me. Please. I don’t want to hurt you.
Watch your Steps please. The Gates Will opening Soon.
Why do I have to wear this?
Because the Queen has come of age.
It’s Coronation Day!
That’s not my fault.
– What do you want, Sven?
– Give me a snack!
What’s the magic word? Please!
A..a… a… a! Share!
I can’t believe they’re finally opening up the gates!
And for a whole day!
Faster, Persi!
Ah, Arendelle, our most mysterious trade partner.
Open those gates so I may unlock your secrets
and exploit your riches.
…Did I just say that out loud?
Oh, me sore eyes can’t wait to.
See the Queen and the Princess.
I bet they’re absolutely lovely.
I bet they are beautiful.
Who is it?
It’s still me, ma’am. The gates will open soon.
Time to get ready. Of course!
Ready for what?
Your sister’s coronation, ma’am.
My sister’s cor-neration…
It’s coronation day!
It’s coronation day!
The window is open! So’s that door!
I didn’t know they did that anymore.
Who knew we owned 8000 salad plates…?
For years I have roamed these empty halls.
Why have a ballroom with no balls?
Finally, they’re opening up the gates!
There’ll be real, actual people
It’ll be totally strange.
But wow am I so ready for this change!
For the first time in forever,
There’ll be music, there’ll be light.
For the first time in forever,
I’ll be dancing through the night.
Don’t know if I’m elated or gassy,
But I’m somewhere in that zone.
‘Cause for the first time in forever,
I won’t be alone. I can’t wait to meet everyone…
What if I meet “the one”?
Tonight, imagine me gown and all.
Fetchingly draped against the wall.
The picture of sophisticated Grace.
I suddenly see him standing there,
a beautiful stranger tall and fair.
I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face!
But then we laugh and talk all evening,
Which is totally bizarre.
Nothing like the life I’ve led so far.
For the first time in forever,
There’ll be magic, There’ll be fun.
For the first time in forever,
I could be noticed by someone.
And I know it is totally crazy.
To dream I’d find romance.
But for the first time in forever,
At least I’ve got a chance!
Don’t let them in. Don’t let them see.
Be the good girl You always have to be.
Conceal. Don’t feel.
Put on a show.
Make one wrong move and everyone will know.
But it’s only for today.
It’s only for today! It’s agony to wait.
It’s agony to wait.
Tell the guards to open up the…
The gate!
For the first time in forever.
Don’t let them in don’t let them see
I’m getting what I’m dreaming of.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
A chance to change my Only world.
Conceal. Conceal. Don’t feel.
– A chance to find true love
– Don’t See, Don’t Feel, Don’t Let them know.
I know it all ends tomorrow,
So it has to be today!
‘Cause for the first time in forever…
For the first time in forever!
Nothing’s in my way!
Your Majesty,
As your closest partner in trade,
It seems only fitting that I offer you.
Your first dance as Queen.
Thank you… Only I don’t dance.
But my sister does.
Lucky you…Oh, I don’t think…
If you swoon, let me know, I’ll catch you.
Like an agile peacock…
Speaking of, so great to have the gates open.
Why did they shut them in the first place?
Do you know the reason? Hmm?
No. No…
Oh, all right. Hang on.
They don’t call me “the little dipper” for nothing.
Like a chicken…with the face of a monkey… I fly.
Let me know when you’re ready for another round, M’Lady.
Well, he was sprightly.
Especially for a man in heels.
Are you okay? I’ve never been better.
This is so nice.
I wish it could be like this all the time.
Me too…
But it can’t.
… Then leave.
… What did I ever do to you?!
Enough, Anna.
No. Why? Why do you shut me out?!
Why do you shut the world out?!
What are you so afraid of?!
I said, enough!
Sorcery. I knew there was
something dubious going on here.
There she is.
Your Majesty! Long live the Queen! Queen Elsa…
Come drink with us.
Queen Elsa.
Your Majesty? Are you all right?
There she is! Stop her!
Please, just stay away from me.
Stay away!
Monster… Monster!
The Queen has cursed this land!
She must be stopped!
You have to go after her…Wait, no!
You! Is there sorcery in you, too?
Are you a monster, too?
No. No. I’m completely ordinary.
That’s right she is.
… In the best way.
And my sister’s not a monster.
She nearly killed me.
You slipped on ice…Her ice!
It was an accident. She was scared.
She didn’t mean it. She didn’t mean any of this…
Tonight was my fault. I pushed her.
So I’m the one that needs to go after her.
What? Yeah. Bring me my horse, please.
Anna, no. It’s too dangerous.
Elsa’s not dangerous.
I’ll bring her back, And I’ll make this right.
I’m coming with you…No.
I need you here to take care of Arendelle.
On my honor.
I leave Prince Hans in charge!
Are you sure you can trust her?
I don’t want you getting hurt.
She’s my sister,
She would never hurt me.
The Snow glows white on the mountain tonight,
Not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation.
And it looks like I’m the Queen.
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.
Couldn’t keep it in, Heaven knows I tried…
Don’t let them in, Don’t let them see,
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, Don’t feel, Don’t let them know.
Well, Now they know.
Let it go. Let it go.
Can’t hold it back anymore.
Let it go. Let it go.
Turn away and Slam the door.
I don’t care what they’re going to say.
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway.
It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me.
Can’t get to me at all.
It’s time to see what I can do,
To test the limits and Break through.
No right, No wrong, No rules for me…
I’m free!
Let it go! Let it go!
I am one with the wind and sky.
Let it go! Let it go!
You’ll never see me cry.
Here I Stand And…
Here I’ll stay.
Let the storm rage on…
My power flurries through the air into the ground.
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around.
And one thought crystallizes like An icy blast…
I’m never going back,
The Past is in the Past!
Let it go! Let it go!
And I’ll rise like the break of Dawn.
Let it go! Let it go!
That perfect girl is gone.
Here I stand in the light of day.
Let the storm rage on!
The cold never bothered me anyway.
What are they? Wolves.
What do we do? I’ve got this.
You just… don’t fall off and don’t get eaten.
But I wanna help…No.
Why not?
Because I don’t trust your judgment.
Excuse me?!
Who marries a man she just met?
It’s true love!
It’s Kristoff!
But sometimes I like to close my eyes
and imagine what it’d be like when summer does come.
Bees’ll Buzz, Kids’ll blow dandelion fuzz.
And I’ll be doing whatever snow does in summer.
A drink in my hand, My snow up against the burning sand.
Prob’ly getting gorgeously tanned in Summer.
I’ll finally see a summer breeze,
blow away a winter storm.
And find out what happens to
solid water, When it gets warm.
And I can’t wait to see, what my buddies all think of me.
Just imagine how much cooler I’ll be in summer!
The hot and the cold are both so intense,
Put ’em together, It just makes sense!
Winter’s a good time to stay in and cuddle,
But put me in summer and I’ll be a…
Happy Snowman!
When life gets rough I like to hold on to my dream
of relaxing in the summer sun just letting off steam!
Oh the sky will be Blue…
And you guys’ll be there too.
When I finally do what frozen things do in Summer!
No, I’m just trying to protect you.
You don’t have to protect me. I’m not afraid.
Please don’t shut me out again.
Please don’t slam the door.
You don’t have to keep your distance anymore.
‘Cause for the first time in forever,
I finally understand.
For the first time in forever, We can fix this hand in hand.
We can head down this mountain Together.
You don’t have to live in fear.
‘Cause for the first time in forever,
I will be right here.
Anna, Please go back home.
Your life awaits.
Go enjoy the sun And open up the gates.
Yeah, But…I know! You mean well,
But leave me be.
Yes, I’m alone. But I’m alone and Free.
Just stay away and you’ll be safe from me.
– Actually, We’re not.
– What do you mean You’re not?
I get the feeling you don’t know?
What do I not know?
Arendelle’s in deep deep deep deep snow.
You kind of set off an eternal winter…everywhere.
It’s okay, you can just unfreeze it.
No, I can’t.
I don’t know how…Sure you can.
I know you can!
‘Cause for the first time in forever,
I’m such a Fool! I can’t be Free!
You don’t have to be afraid.
No escape From the storm inside of me!
We can work this out together.
I can’t control the curse!
We’ll reverse the storm you’ve made.
Anna, Please, You’ll only make it worse!
Don’t panic.
There’s so much fear!
We’ll make the sun shine bright.
You’re not safe here!
We can face this thing together…
I can’t!
Anna. Are you okay?
I’m okay… I’m fine…Who’s this?
Wait, it doesn’t matter. Just…You have to go.
No, I know we can figure this out together…
How? What power do you have to stop this winter?
To stop me?
But look, I grew a mushroom.
And I earned my fire Crystal.
I passed a kidney Stone.
Kristoff, Pick me up.
You’re getting big…Good for you.
Trolls? They’re trolls.
He’s brought a girl!
What’s going on?
I’ve learned to just roll with it.
Let me see. Bright eyes. Working nose. Strong teeth.
Yes, yes, yes. She’ll do nicely for our Kristoff.
Wait. Oh. Um. No.
You’ve got the wrong idea. That’s not why I brought her here.
Right. We’re not. I’m not…
What’s the issue, dear?
Why are you holding back from such a man?
Is it the clumpy way he walks?
Or the Grumpy way he talks? No.
Or the pear-shaped, square-shaped
…weirdness of his feet? Hey!
And though we know he washes well
he always ends up Sorta smelly.
But You’ll never meet a fella who’s as sensitive and sweet.
That’s nice.
So he’s a bit of a fixer upper,
So he’s got a few flaws,
His peculiar brain, Dear. His thing for the reindeer.
– That outside a few of nature’s laws.
– This is not about me!
So he’s a bit of a fixer upper,
But this we’re certain of…
You Can fix this fixer upper up with a little bit of love.
Can we just stop talking about this?!
We’ve got a real, actual problem here.
I’ll Say…So tell me dear, Is it
the way that he runs scared?
Or that he’s Socially Impaired?
Or that he only likes to tinkle in the Woods?
I do not need to know that.
Are you holding back your fondness.
Due to his unmanly blondeness?
Or the way he covers up that he’s the honest goods?
He’s just a bit of a fixer upper.
He’s got a couple a’ bugs.
No, I don’t.
His isolation is confirmation of
his desperation for healing hugs.
So he’s a bit of a fixer upper, But we know what to do.
The way to fix up this fixer
…upper is to fix him up with you.
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Enough!
She’s engaged to someone else. Okay?!
So she’s a bit of a fixer upper,
That’s a minor thing.
This quote engagement Is a flex arrangement.
And by the way, I don’t see no Ring.
So she’s a bit of a fixer upper,
Her brain’s a bit betwixt.
Get the fiance out of the way And
the whole thing will be fixed!
We aren’t saying you can change him.
‘Cause people don’t really change.
We’re only saying that love’s a force.
That’s powerful and strange.
People make bad choices if they’re
mad or scared or stressed.
But throw a little love their way…
throw a little love their way.
And you’ll bring out their best!
True love brings out the best!
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer upper,
That’s what it’s all about.
Father, Sister, Brother We need each other
to raise us up and round us out.
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer upper,
But when push comes to shove.
The only fixer upper fixer that can fix a fixer upper is.
True, True, True, True, Love.
Love, Love, Love, True Love…True-e-e-e-e-e.
Do you, Anna, take Kristoff to be your trollfully wedded…
Wait, what?!
You’re getting married.
She’s as cold as ice.
There’s strange magic here!
Grand Pabbie! Bring her to me.
Anna, your life is in danger.
There is ice in your heart, put there by your sister.
If not removed, to solid ice will you freeze, forever.
What …? No.
But you can remove it, Right?
I can not, I’m sorry Kristoff…
If it was her head that would be easy.
Let’s go kiss Hans! Who is this Hans?!
We are here to find Princess Anna.
Be on guard,
but no harm is to come to the Queen.
Do you understand? Yes, Sir.
The Queen.
Up there! Come on!
No, Please.
Stay away!
Fire! Fire.
Get her! Get her!
Don’t be the monster they fear you are.
As thirteenth in line in my own
…kingdom, I didn’t stand a chance. I knew…
I’d have to marry into the throne somewhere…
What are you talking about?
As heir, Elsa was preferable, of course.
But no one was getting anywhere with her.
But you…Hans?
You were so desperate for love,
You were willing to marry me, just like that.
I figured, after we married, I’d have
to stage a little accident for Elsa.
Hans. No, stop.
But then she doomed herself, and you were
…dumb enough to go after her.
All that’s left now is to kill Elsa and bring back summer.
You’re no match for Elsa.
No, you’re no match for Elsa.
I, on the other hand, am the hero who is
going to save Arendelle from destruction.
You won’t get away with this.
Oh, I already have.
You can’t run from this!
Just take care of my sister…Your sister?
She returned from the mountain weak and cold.
She said you froze her heart.
I tried to save her, but it was too late.
Her skin was ice. Her hair turned white…
Your sister is dead… because of you.
This is unacceptable.
I am innocent. I’m a victim of fear.
I’ve been traumatized. Ow! My neck hurts.
Is there a doctor I could… No?
I demand to see the Queen!
I have a message from the Queen.
Arendelle will henceforth and forever
…no longer do business of any sort
with Weaseltown.
Weselton. It’s Weselton!
Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on! Ow, Okay, Okay…
Pole…Oops. So Sorry.
Okay. Okay. Here we are.
I owe you a sled.
Are you serious?
Yes. And it’s the latest model.
No. I can’t accept this…
You have to. No returns. No exchanges. Queen’s orders.
She’s named you the official.
Arendelle Ice Master and Deliverer.
What? That’s not a thing…Sure it is.
And it even has a cup holder…Do you like it?
Like it? I love it…
I could kiss you!
I could. I mean I’d like to. I’d…
may I? We me… I mean, may we?
Wait, what?
We may.
Are you ready?
I like the open gates.
We are never closing them again.
What? Oh, Elsa, they’re beautiful,
but you know I don’t ska…
Come on, you can do it!
Hey, girls!
Hey, Guys

Interstellar (2014)

He’s gonna make an excellent farmer.
-Yeah he’s got a knack for it.
What about college?
Well the university only takes a handful.
They don’t really have the resources.
-I still pay my taxes.
Where does that money go? There’s no more armies.
Well, they don’t go to the university.
Look Coop, you have to be realistic.
You’re ruling my son out for college now?
The kid’s 15.
Tom’s score simply isn’t high enough.
-What’s your waistline?
How about 32, about 33 inseam?
-I’m not sure I see where you’re getting at.
You’re telling me it takes two numbers
to measure your own ass…
…but only one to measure my son’s future?
Come on, you’re a well-educated man Coop…
…and a trained pilot.
-And an engineer.
Okay well right now, we don’t need more engineers.
We didn’t run out of television screens or planes;
we ran out of food!
The world needs farmers.
Good farmers like you, and Tom.
Uneducated farmers.
-We are a caretaker generation Coop.
And things are getting better.
Maybe your grandkids will get to be…
Ahh we used to look up to the sky and wonder…
…at our place in the stars.
Now we just look down,
and worry about our place in the dirt.
Cooper, you were good at something,
and you never got a chance to do anything with it.
I’m sorry.
You didn’t expect this dirt
that was giving you this food…
…to turn on you like that and destroy you.
In April I believe if I’m right,
This just happened at about 1:30 when that thing
came off the top of the canyon.
In my day we had real ball players. Who’re these bums?
Well in my day, people were too busy…
…fighting over food to even play baseball.
Popcorn at a ball game is unnatural.
I want a hot dog.
School says you’re gonna follow in my footsteps.
I think that’s great.
You think that’s great?
Explain to me how you found this facility.
Kind of accidently stumbled upon it.
We were on a salvage run…
You’re sitting in the best kept secret in the world.
Nobody stumbles in here, nobody stumbles out.
Cooper, please, cooperate with these people.
Well, it’s kinda hard to explain.
We we.., we learnt these coordinates…
…from an anomaly.
-What sort of anomaly?
I hesitate to term it supernatural
but it damn well wasn’t scientific…
You’re gonna have to be specific
Mr. Cooper, right now.
-It was gravity.
Um what sort of gravitational
an- where was this thing?
Hey, I’m real happy that you’re excited
about gravity bud, but…
…you’re not getting any answers from us
Like that we’re getting out of here, and
I don’t mean in the trunk of some car.
Don’t you know who we are Coop?
-No Professor, I don’t.
You know my father Professor Brand.
We’re NASA.
The same NASA, you flew for.
I heard they shut you down sir,
for refusing to drop bombs from…
…the stratosphere on the starving people.
When they realized that killing other people…
…was not a long term solution,
then they needed us back. In secret.
Why secret?
-Because public opinion wouldn’t allow
spending on space exploration.
Not when you’re struggling to put food on the table.
Blight. Wheat, seven years ago.
Now you need to tell me, what your plan is to save the world?
We’re not meant to save the world.
We’re meant to leave it.
-The last components of our one versatile ship in orbit.
The Endurance.
Our final expedition.
You sent people out there looking for a new home?
The Lazarus missions.
-Sounds cheerful!
Lazarus came back from the dead.
-Sure, but he had to die in the first place.
We need a pilot, and this is
the mission that you were trained for.
What, without even knowing?
An hour ago, you didn’t even know I was alive,
and you were going anyway.
We had no choice.
But something sent you here.
They chose you.
-Who’s ‘They’?
How long, would I be gone?
-Hard to know.
-I’ve got kids Professor.
Get out there, and save them.
Who’s ‘They’?
-We started detecting gravitational anomalies,
almost 50 years ago.
Mostly small distortions to our
instruments in the upper atmosphere.
In fact I believe you encountered one yourself.
Yeah, in the Straits.
My crash, something tripped my fly-by-wire.
Exactly. But of all these anomalies,
the most significant is this.
Out near Saturn.
A disturbance of spacetime.
Is that a wormhole?
-It appeared 48 years ago.
And it leads, where?
-Another galaxy.
A wormhole is not a naturally occuring phenomenon.
Someone placed it there.
And whoever they are,
they appear to be looking out for us.
That wormhole let’s us
travel to other stars.
It came right around when we needed it.
They’ve put potentially habitable
worlds right within our reach.
Twelve, in fact from our initial probes.
-You sent probes into that?
We sent people into it, 10 years ago.
The Lazarus missions.
Carrying the bravest humans ever to live.
Led by the remarkable Dr. Mann.
Each person’s landing pod
had enough life support for two years.
But they could use hibernation to stretch that…
…making observations on organics
over a decade or more.
This entire facility is a centrifuge.
Some kind of vehicle? A space station?
-Both. The plan A.
How do you get it off the ground?
The first gravitational
anomalies changed everything.
Suddenly we knew that harnessing gravity
was real.
So I started working on a theory and we started…
…building this station.
-But you haven’t solved it yet.
That’s why there’s a plan B.
The problem is gravity.
How to get a viable amount of human life
off the planet?
This is one way. The plan B.
Population bomb.
You don’t have the resources to visit all 12.
Data transmission back through the wormhole is rudimentary.
Simple binary pings on an annual basis…
…give us some clue as to which worlds have potential.
One system shows promise.
Well one, that’s a bit of a long shot isn’t it?
One system with 3 potential worlds?
Not a long shot.
So if we find a home…
…then what?
-That’s the long shot.
-Go. If you’re leaving just go!
This world was never enough for you,
was it Cooper?
What, cause heading out there is what I feel like…
…I was born to do?
And it excites me?
Nah, it does not make it wrong.
-It might.
Don’t trust the right thing
done for the wrong reason.
The ‘why’ of the thing, that’s the foundation.
-And the foundation’s solid.
We farmers, we sit here every year when…
…the rains fail, and we say:
Next year.
One for you.
One for me.
When I’m up there in hypersleep,
or, or traveling at the speed of light,
or, near a black hole,
Time is gonna change for me.
And it’s gonna run more slowly.
So, when we get back,
we’re gonna compare.
-Time will run differently for us?
Maybe by the time I get back,
you and I, we might be the same age.
You and me.
We’ll be waiting for you, when you get back.
A little older, a little wiser,
but happy to see you.
‘Do not go gentle into that good night,’
‘old age should burn and
rave at close of day,’
‘Rage, rage against the dying of the light.’
‘Though wise men at their end,
know dark is right.’
‘Because their words had forked no lightning they’
‘Do not go gentle, into that good night’
‘Rage, rage against the dying of the light.’
Here, pills.
So alone.
You don’t think nature can be evil?
No. Formidable, frightening. But, no, not evil.
Is a lion evil because it rips a gazelle to shreds?
Just what we take with us then?
Yeah. This crew represents the best of humanity.
Even me, huh?
-Y’know what? We agreed, 90%.
Don’t stay up.
I’ll be in a minute.
Just remember Coop, you’re literally wasting your breath.
Hey TARS, let’s go over that trajectory one more time.
Gravity powered slingshot around,
Nothing has changed on that.
Let me ask you something.
Dr. Brand and Edmunds.
-Why are you whispering? They can’t hear you.
Dr. Brand and Edmunds, they close?
-I wouldn’t know.
This is the, relay probe?
-In orbit around the wormhole.
This is the wormhole and every
time we come around…
…we would receive images from
the other side of the foreign galaxy.
Like swinging a periscope around.
So we got a pretty good idea,
what we’re gonna find on the other side, huh?
Hey guys, looks like we’re gonna be
approaching the wormhole in about three hours.
Hey Coop, can we stop the spinning?
Why? -Because we are close enough to see it.
Look, that’s, that’s it! That’s the wormhole!
Say it, don’t spray it Rom.
It’s a sphere.
Well of course it is!
What you thought it would just be a hole?
No. It’s just that all the illustrations I’ve ever seen they…
The illustrations, try to show how it works.
So they say you want to go from here, to there.
But this is too far.
So a wormhole bends space like this so you…
…can take a shortcut through a higher dimension.
Okay so, to show that they’ve turned 3-dimensional space…
…into 2 dimensions, which turns a wormhole in 2 dimensions…
…a circle.
What’s a circle in 3 dimensions?
A sphere.
-Exactly. A spherical hole.
But who put it there?
Who do we have to thank?
I’m not thanking anybody
until we get outta here in one piece Rom.
Any trick to this Doyle?
No one knows.
The others made it, right?
At least some of ’em.
Everybody ready to say goodbye to our solar system?
To our galaxy.
Here we go.
Controls won’t work here.
We are passing through the bulk.
Its space beyond our 3 dimensions.
All you can do is report and observe.
What is that?
I think it’s ‘Them’.
-Distorting spacetime?
Romilly, are you reading these forces?
A literal heart of darkness.
If we could just see the collapsed star inside,
the singularity, we’d solve gravity.
We can’t get anything from it?
-Nothing escapes that horizon,
not even light.
All the answers are there, just no way to see it.
There’s Miller’s planet.
Goodbye Ranger.
Do we have a fix on her beacon?
-That I have, can you maneuver?
I gonna need to shave some speed.
I’m gonna spiral down on top of it, everybody hang on!
On my cue CASE, on my cue.
Very graceful.
No, but very efficient.
What’re you waiting for?
Let’s go.
Go, go, go, go.
Let’s make it count.
This way.
About 200 meters.
Gravity’s punishing.
-Been floating through space too long?
Come on, come on, come on.
There’s nothing here.
-should be right here.
If the, if the signal’s coming from here, then…
Her beacon.
-Where’s the rest?
Towards the mountains.
Those aren’t mountains.
They’re waves.
…maybe if we could jump in a black hole
and gain back the years?
Don’t shake your head at me!
Time is relative, okay.
It can stretch and it can squeeze, but,
it can’t run backwards!
Just can’t!
The only thing that can move across dimensions,
like time, is gravity.
The beings that led us here,
they communicate through gravity, right?
Could they be talking to us from the future?
Okay, if they can..?
…are beings of 5 dimensions!
Right, to them, time might be
yet another physical dimension.
To them, the past might be a canyon
they can climb into,
and the future, a mountain that they can climb up,
but to us, it’s not! Okay!
Look Cooper, I screwed up.
I’m sorry.
But you knew about relativity.
My daughter is 10 years old.
Couldn’t teach her Einstein’s theories before I left,
Couldn’t you have told your daughter
that you were going to save the world?
When you become a parent,
one thing becomes really clear,
And that’s you wanna make sure your children feel safe,
and it rules out telling a 10 year old,
that the world’s endin’.
-I’m not afraid of death.
I am an old physicist.
I’m afraid of time.
You’re afraid of time.
For years we’ve been trying
to solve the equation without changing…
…the underlying assumption about time.
What it means, is each iteration
is an attempt to prove it’s own proof,
it’s recursive,…it’s nonsensical.
Are you calling my life’s work nonsense, Murph?
No, I’m saying that you’ve been trying
to finish it with one arm…
…no, with both arms tied behind your back.
And I don’t understand why.
I am an old man Murph.
Can we take this point up at another time?
I want to talk to my daughter.
Stepping out into the universe,
we must confront the reality of interstellar travel.
We must reach far beyond our own lifespans.
We must think, not as individuals,
but as a species.
‘Do not go gentle into that good night.’
Whatever can happen, will happen.
Accidents are the first building block of evolution,
but when you’re orbiting a black hole,
not enough can happen,
it sucks in asteroids, comets,
other events which would otherwise reach you.
We need to go further afield.
You once said that Dr. Mann, was the best of us.
He is remarkable.
we’re only here because of him.
And, and yet here he is,
he is on the ground,
and he’s sending a very unambiguous message,
telling us to come to his planet.
But Edmund’s data is more promising.
-We should vote.
-Well, if we’re going to vote, there’s something you should know,
Brand, he has a right to know.
That has nothing to do with it.
-What does?
She’s in love with Wolf Edmunds.
-Is that true?
And that makes me want to follow my heart.
Maybe we’ve spent too long trying
to figure all this out with theory,
-You’re a scientist Brand.
-So listen to me,
When I say that love isn’t
something we invented, it’s…
…observable, powerful.
It has to mean something.
-Love has meaning, yes, social utility…
…social bonding, child rearing,
-We love people who have died,
where’s the social utility in that?
-Maybe it means something more,
something we can’t…
…yet understand.
Maybe it’s, some evidence, some…
…artifact of a higher dimension…
that we can’t consciously perceive,
I’m drawn across the universe to someone…
…I haven’t seen in a decade.
Who, I know, is probably dead.
Love is the one thing we’re capable…
…of perceiving that transcends
dimensions of time and space.
Maybe we should trust that,
even if we can’t understand it yet.
But he has been trying to solve
the gravity equation for 40 years.
Amelia, your father solved his
equation before I even left.
Then why wouldn’t he use it?
The equation couldn’t reconcile
relativity with quantum mechanics
You need more.
More? More what?
-More data. You need to see into a black hole.
The laws of nature prohibit a naked singularity.
-Romilly, is that true?
If the black hole is an oyster, then
the singularity is the pearl inside.
The gravity is so strong that it is always hidden…
…in darkness, beyond the horizon.
That’s why we call it a ‘black’ hole.
Okay,…what if we see beyond the horizon?
We can’t Cooper.
-There are some things that aren’t meant to be known.
Murph, don’t, don’t people have the right to know?
Panic won’t help.
We just have to keep working, same as ever.
Yes, but isn’t that exactly what
Professor Brand was manipulating…
-Brand gave up on us.
I’m still trying to solve this.
So, do you have an idea?
A feeling.
I told you about my ghost.
My dad thought I called it a ghost
because I was scared of it.
But I was never scared of it.
I called it a ghost because
it felt….like a person,
that was trying to tell me something.
If there is an answer
here on Earth, it’s back there,
somehow in that room.
So I have to find it.
We’re running out of time.
-Gargantua is an older spinning black hole.
It is what we call a ‘gentle’ singularity.
They’re hardly gentle.
But the tidal gravity is so quick that something…
…crossing the horizon fast, might survive.
A probe say.
What happens after it crosses?
After, the horizon,
is a complete mystery.
So, what’s to say that there isn’t some
way that the probe can…
…glimpse the singularity
and relay the quantum data?
…in their fifth dimension.
They saved us!
Yeah? Well who the hell is ‘They’?
And just why would they want to help us?
I don’t know, but they constructed
this three-dimensional space…
…inside their five dimensional
reality to allow you to understand it.
-Yeah well it ain’t working.
Yes it is. You’ve seen that time,
is represented as a physical dimension.
You’ve worked out that you can exert a force
across spacetime.
…to send a message?
…can cross the dimensions, including time?
Do you have the quantum data?
-Roger, I have it.
I’ve translated it on all wavelengths…
…but nothing is getting out Cooper.
-I can do this, I can.
But such complicated data to a child?
-Not just any child.
Come on dad!
Murph, the fire’s out! Come on!
Even though you communicate it here,
she won’t understand it’s significance for years!
No, no, I get that TARS, but
we’ve got to figure something out alright…
…or the people on Earth are gonna die!
Think, think, think!
Cooper, they didn’t bring
us here to change the past.
Say that again.
-They didn’t bring us here, to change the past.
No, they didn’t bring us here at all.
We brought ourselves!
TARS, give me the coordinates for NASA, in binary.
In binary, roger, translating data.
It’s not a ghost.
It’s gravity.
-Don’t you get it yet TARS?
I brought myself here!
We’re here to communicate,
with the three dimensional world!
We are the bridge!
I thought they chose me.
But they didn’t choose me, they chose her!
-For what Cooper?
To save the world!
All of this! In one, little girl’s bedroom.
Every moment, it’s infinitely complex.
They have access to infinite time and space…
…but they’re not bound by anything!
They can’t find, a specific place in time.
They can’t communicate.
That’s why I’m here.
-I’m here to find a way…
…to tell Murph,
just like I found this moment.
-How Cooper?
Love TARS, love!
It’s just like Brand said,
my connection with Murph, it is quantifiable.
It is the key. -Why are we here?
To find out how to tell.
The watch!
The watch!
Encode the data in the
movement of the second hand.
TARS, translate the data into Morse
and give it to me.
Translating the data to Morse.
Cooper, what if she never came back for it?
She will. She will.
He’s coming Murph!
Okay, coming down!
-How do you know?
Because I gave it to her!
-I think it might have.
How do you know?
Because, the bulk beings
are closing the Tesseract.
Don’t you get it yet TARS?
They’re not beings.
They’re us!
What I’ve been doing for Murph,
they’ve been doing for me!
For all of us.
-Cooper, people couldn’t build this.
No, no. Not yet. But one day.
Not you and me. But people.
A civilization that’s evolved
past the 4 dimensions that we know.
What happens now?
Mr. Cooper.
Let’s take it slow sir.
Nice and easy Mr. Cooper.
Remember you’re no spring chicken anymore.
Actually you are one hundred and twenty four years old.
Take it slow sir.
You were, um, extremely lucky.
The Rangers found you with only minutes
left in your oxygen supply.
Where am I?
Cooper station.
Currently orbiting Saturn.
Cooper station?
What nice of you to name it after me!
-Well, the station isn’t named after you sir,
It’s uh, it’s named after your daughter.
Although she’s always maintained
just how important you were.
-Is she still alive?
She’ll be here in a couple of weeks.
She is far too old to be
transferred from another station…
…but when she heard that you’d been found.
Well this is, this is
Murphy Cooper we’re talking about!
Yes it is!
We’ll have you checked out of here
in a couple of days.
I’m sure you’ll be excited to see what’s in store.
I actually uhh, did a paper on you,
in high school,
I know all about your life back on Earth.
Oh yeah, right.
Sir, if you could follow me?
You’ve got a really good situation.
So um, when I made my suggestion to Ms. Cooper,
I was delighted to hear that she thought it was perfect.
Well of course, I didn’t speak to her in person.
My dad was a farmer.
Like everybody else back then.
Anyway, there just wasn’t enough food.
We had strips of sheet to
cover our nose and mouth.
So we wouldn’t breathe so much of it.
She did confirm, just how much you loved farming.
She did? Did she?
Well, home sweet home!
Everything is in its place and
faithfully reproduced.
Hey, is this? -Oh yeah, the machine
we found out near Saturn with you.
It’s power source is shot,
but we can get another one if you want.
Yes, please!
General settings.
Security settings.
Honesty, new setting.
Confirmed. Additional customization?
Humor: 75%
Auto self destruct T minus 10, 9…
Let’s make that 60%.
Knock Knock. -You want 55?
Is this really what it was like?
It was never this clean slick.
I don’t care much for this, pretending
we are back where we started.
I want to know where we are?
Where are we going?
Mr Cooper. -Yes?
-The family is all in there.
Yeah, they all came out to see her.
She’s been in cryo sleep for almost 2 years.
You told them I liked farming?
It was me Murph!
I was your ghost!
I know.
People didn’t believe me,
they thought I was doing it all myself. But…
…I knew who it was.
Nobody believed me.
But I knew you’d come back.
Because my dad promised me!
I’m here now Murph.
I’m here!
No. No parent should have
to watch their own child die.
I have my kids here for me now.
You go!
She’s, out there.
Setting up camp.
Alone, in a strange galaxy.
Maybe right now she’s, settling in…
…for the long nap.
By the light of our new sun.
In our new home.

Gravity Falls – Northwest Mansion Noir

2×10 – “Northwest Mansion Noir” Preston, I must say, the guest list for this year’s party has so much diversity.
Yes, a nice mix of millionaires and billionaires.
Put the oyster fork at an angle! We’re not animals, man.
Now where the devil is Pacifica! What did I tell you about that dress? The theme is “sea foam green,” not lake foam green.
– Go change! – But I-I kind of like it.
– Mind your mother, Pacifica.
– But [bell clangs] Yes, Father.
[loud rumbling] [gasping] Oh, no, it’s happening.
Yes, you are my possessions! Obey me! [yells] This is a disaster.
The party’s in just 24 hours.
Surely there’s someone who could handle this sort of nonsense.
And I think I know just the person.
[title music] You asked for it, you got it.
An entire 48-hour marathon of Ghost Harassers.
on the Used To Be About History Channel.
Be strong, bladder.
We’re not gonna move till sunset.
We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news.
– Oh, what? – It’s starting! – Turn it up! – Make room for Grenda.
[all grunt] Well tonight’s the night, but I’ve been out here for days.
The Northwest family’s annual high-society shindig ball soiree is here.
And even though common folk aren’t let in, that won’t stop us from camping out for a peek at the fanciness.
[all] Ooh! Okay, can someone please explain why people care about this? Um, it’s pretty much the best party of all time.
Rich food, richer boys.
They say each gift basket has a live quail inside.
Give me your life, Pacifica.
Guys, in case you’ve already forgotten, Pacifica Northwest is the worst.
[knocking on door] And that’s not just jealousy talking.
I’d say that to her face.
– I need your help.
– You’re the worst.
[all gasping] See? [knocking] Look, you think it’s easy for me to come here? I don’t wanna be seen in this hovel.
But there’s something haunting Northwest Manor.
If you don’t help me, the party could be ruined.
And why should I trust you? All you’ve ever done is try to humiliate me and Mabel.
Just name your price, okay? I’ll give you anything.
Hi, Pacifica.
Excuse us.
Dipper, don’t you see what this means? If you help Pacifica, you could get us invites to the greatest party of all time.
What? Mabel, this is Pacifica we’re talking about.
But it’s Candy and Grenda’s dream.
[both] Dream! [sighs] Fine.
I’ll bust your ghost.
But, in exchange, I’ll need three tickets to the party.
[growls] You’re just lucky I’m desperate.
[all] Whoo! Desperate, desperate, desperate! Grenda, get the glue gun.
We’re making dresses.
Welcome to Northwest Manor, dorks.
Try not to touch anything.
[all exclaiming] Everything’s so fancy.
Fancy floors, fancy plants.
– [gasps] Fancy man.
– Yes.
Very good, miss.
The rumors were true.
Ah, if it isn’t the man of the hour.
Hopefully, you can help us with our little situation – before the guests arrive in an hour.
– I’ll do my best.
Pacifica, take our guests to the problem room, and, uh he’s not wearing that, is he? [teeth squeaking] I’m on it.
It’s like this collar is strangling me.
Who do you guys think you’re impressing with this stuff? Um, everyone.
You wouldn’t understand.
High standards are what make the Northwest family great.
Funny, I thought it was lying about founding the town.
Don’t touch that.
Oh, wow, guys, it’s the guest list.
Whoa! – Check out this hottie.
– Marius von Fundshauser.
He’s a baron from Austria.
Forget the quail.
I’m putting him in my guest basket.
Hold up, ladies.
I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but I think this boy is out of our league.
Grenda’s right.
He’s a white whale.
Hunting him will destroy us.
There are tons of cute boys coming.
Let’s swear a sisters’ truce not to waste time on Marius.
– Deal.
– Deal.
[all laughing] Whoa.
[Pacifica] This is the main room where it’s been happening.
Yep, this looks like the kind of room that would be haunted, all right.
I wouldn’t be worried, though.
Ghosts fall under a ten-category scale.
Falling plates sound like a category one.
So what? Are you going to bore him back into the afterlife – by reading from this book? – Just gotta splash this sucker with some anointed water, and he should be out of your probably-fake blonde hair.
What was that about my hair? Sh.
I’m picking something up.
Come on, stupid thing.
There we go.
Uh, Pacifica? [screams] Ancient sins.
Ancient sins.
Ancient sins.
Ancient sins.
[chanting continues] – Dipper, what is this? – It’s a category ten.
[both screaming] Ancient blood and blackened skies.
The forest dark shall once more rise.
What do we do, what do we do? Don’t worry.
It can’t get worse than this.
[gasping] I smell a Northwest.
Come out.
Come out, wherever you are.
Read through your dumb book already.
I’m looking, and it’s not dumb, okay? This book is gonna save our lives.
All right, here we go.
Oh, seriously? You shouldn’t have come here.
This way.
Hurry! Welcome, dukes and duchesses.
– Sultans and sportsmen.
– Yo, what up, Presto? And reclusive 102-year-old mayor of Gravity Falls, Mayor Befufftlefumpter.
[birds cawing] It’s okay.
They’re with me.
Tonight, we will enjoy only the finest of tastes and only the snootiest of laughter.
[fawning laughter] – That’s the ticket.
– Cheese, chocolate.
– Cheese, chocolate.
– Candy, listen to me carefully.
You’re caught in a sweet-savory loop.
Put the fondue fork down.
I want to, but I can’t.
[tapping sound] Introducing Baron Marius von Fundshauser.
[fanfare plays] – Guten tag.
– Guten take me now! – Mabel, we had a truce.
– Yes, yes, yes, a truce.
Grenda, can you go fetch us some fancy napkins? Wow.
Listen, Mabel, I don’t know if I can follow this truce.
– He is too adorable.
– Oh.
Me, too, Candy.
But what do we do? He’s unattainable.
What if we flirt with him as a team? With our cuteness combined, one of us might have a chance.
It is the perfect plan.
But what about Grenda? I love Grenda, Mabel, but these boys are fancy.
Her aggressive flirting style might scare them away.
Hey, what’s on your shirt? Ha! Gullible! Loser! Hurry.
Through the garden.
Watch out for peacocks.
Come on, come on.
I got it.
A haunted painting can only be trapped in a silver mirror.
Look, there’s a silver mirror right there.
Wait! Don’t go in there! This room has my parents’ favorite carpet pattern.
They’ll lose it if we track mud in there.
What? Are you serious? We’ll find another way.
[ghost wailing] Pacifica, we don’t have time for this.
Let me through! – No.
My parents will kill me.
– Why are you so afraid of your parents? You wouldn’t understand.
[ghost laughing] – What is this place? – That’s weird.
I don’t even know where this room is.
– Hopefully, the ghost doesn’t either.
– Yeah.
Maybe we’re safe.
Pacifica! Watch out! [shrieks] Your fate is sealed! A silver mirror.
[ghost growling] Prepare to die, Northwest! [grunting] Did you get him? Oh, free me! [both] Yes! We did it! [clears throat] Can I pay you to pretend that never happened? Well, Pacifica, you really found the right man for the job.
We can’t thank you enough.
– That’s enough.
– He-hey, just holdin’ up my end of the deal.
Leaving already? You’re at the world’s best party, dummy.
[chuckles] I’d love to stay, but I’ve got a category ten ghost to dispose of.
[chuckles] Category ten.
[both laughing] Call me crazy, but maybe she’s not that bad after all.
[ghost laughing] What are you laughing about, man? I defeated you.
You’ve been had, boy.
– You remind me of me 150 years ago.
– What do you mean? One hundred and fifty years ago this day, the Northwests asked us lumber folk to build them a mansion atop the hill.
We were told it would be a service to the town, that once a year, they would throw a grand party, and all would share in the bounty.
It took years of back-breaking labor and sacrifice, but when it was time for the grand party they promised the common folk of the town, they refused to let us in.
[laughing] You promised, Northwest! With the trees gone, the mudslides began.
While they partied and laughed, I was swept away by the storm.
And so I said with final breath, 150 years I’ll return from death.
And if the gate still closed to town, wealthy blood will stain the ground.
A curse passed down until this day.
So wait a minute.
The Northwests knew this haunting was coming, and they tricked me into helping them to avoid ghostly justice? I’ll be right back.
Thank you so much for coming, mayor.
As a sign of our respect, please take this chimp servant.
– Okay.
– Keep him away from bright lights.
He gets grabby.
[Dipper] Northwests! You’ve got some explaining to do.
Dipper, you came back.
You lied to me! All of you did.
All you had to do was let the townsfolk into the party, and you could’ve broken the curse.
But you made me do your dirty work instead.
Look at who you’re talking to, boy.
I’m hosting a party for the most powerful people in the world.
You think they’d come here if they had to rub elbows – with your kind? – My kind? I was right about you all along.
You’re just as bad as your parents.
– Another link in the world’s worst chain.
– I’m sorry.
They made me.
I should’ve told you, but [bell clangs] Enjoy the party.
It’s the last time you and your kind will ever come.
[chittering] No, no! Those aren’t for him.
Stupid Northwests.
Making me do their exorcism for them.
Exodus demonus, spookus scarus, – aintafraidus noghostus.
– Dipper.
Dipper, please let me get my vengeance on the Northwests.
You hate them as much as I.
Hey, I feel you.
It’s just, my sister’s in there, and you seem a little unstable, man.
Very well, boy.
Then before you banish my soul, may these tired old lumber eyes gaze upon the trees one final time? Uh I guess.
Go nuts, man.
[evil laughter] What? [screams] Yes! Vengeance! Oh, no.
Mabel! Hi.
I’m Mabel.
So, Australia, huh? Do you guys eat kangaroo meat over there, – or are they strictly pets? – I am from Austria.
– [nervous laughter] Tag, tag.
– I am Candy.
I love the tiny hats you wear on your shoulders.
Hi! If you were a boat, do you know what kind you’d be? A dreamboat.
That’s what kind.
– You’re tagged out.
– Tagged back in.
– You can’t do that.
– I can tag myself.
It’s allowed.
[arguing] [Grenda] Ahem! What exactly was all that? You were flirting with Marius without me.
We’re sorry, Grenda.
It’s just Your flirting style can come off as a bit intense.
Oh, I see.
You think I shouldn’t be myself just because I’m in this stupid mansion.
I thought you liked my style.
We do, but these boys might not.
Then I guess they wouldn’t like this either.
– Hey, Marius.
– Yeah? You’ve got something on your shirt.
[both gasping] [all huffing] Thank you all for coming.
I think we can all say this party was a rousing success.
I guess you could say it was a slam dunk, Preston.
Yes, yes, I guess, sure.
A toast to our family name.
[ghost laughing] What?! Generations locked away.
My revenge shall have its day.
Oh, the Grim Reaper.
I’ve been wondering when you would arrive.
[ferocious growling] [screaming] – Preston, what are we going to do? – Prepare the panic room.
[screaming] Please help me.
Whoa! That is messed up! [laughs] Just one way to change your fates.
A Northwest must open the party gates.
A Northwest? Pacifica! Pacifica.
There you are.
The ghost is turning everyone to wood, and he just started rhyming for some reason.
I need your help! Pacifica? You wanna know why this room was locked up? This is what I found in here.
A painted record of every horrible thing that my family’s ever done.
Lying, cheating, and then, there’s me.
I lied to you just because I’m too scared to talk back to my stupid parents.
You were right about me.
I am just another link in the world’s worst chain.
[sighs] Pacifica, I’m sorry about what I said earlier, but just because you’re your parents’ daughter doesn’t mean you have to be like them.
It’s not too late.
– [ghost] It’s too late! – Oh, no! You are all wood! [screaming] Dipper, wait! All right, ghost.
Prepare to get No, wait! No, no, no, no! No, someone help.
Someone he ! [gasps] A forest of death, a lesson learned.
And now, the Northwest manor will burn! Hey, ugly.
Over here.
You want me to let in the townsfolk? ‘Cause I’ll do it.
Just change everyone back.
You wish to prove yourself? Pull that lever and open the grand gate to the town.
Fulfill your ancestors’ promise.
Pacifica Elise Northwest, stop this instant! We can’t let the town see us like this.
We have a reputation to uphold.
Now come into the panic room.
There’s enough mini sandwiches and oxygen to last you, me, and a butler for a week.
[whispers] We’ll eat the butler.
You dare disobey us? [bell clangs] Dingly, dingly.
Is this bell broken? Our family name is broken, and I’m gonna fix it.
[gasps] Get it, get it.
[crowd clamoring] Yes, yes, it’s happening.
My heart, once as hard as oak, now grows soft like more of a birch or something.
[gasps] Pacifica, you are not like the other Northwests.
I feel lumber justice.
Oh, yes! Yeah! Good Lord, the riff-raff.
They’re everywhere! Ooh.
Ha ha! That’s not how the fork should be placed.
– Ugh, man, what happened? – Ahem! Grenda, we are so sorry.
– We shouldn’t have left you behind.
– It’s okay.
Maybe I do need to work on my flirting.
Come on, let’s go dunk our heads into cheese and chocolate.
– Friends.
– Friends.
Wait! Don’t go.
Grenda, was it? I must speak with you.
There’s something about you.
I can’t get you out of my head.
You’re so bold and confident.
I know you’re probably out of my league, but might I give you mein phone number? I don’t have a phone! Write it on my face! Whoa! Go, Grenda.
I guess we shouldn’t have sold her short.
– I call bridesmaid.
– What? I call co-bridesmaids.
Man, if your family hates you for this, they’re idiots.
This is great.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
Next year, I’m sure they’re just gonna lock everyone out again.
Hey, guess what we’re standing on.
[gasps] [laughs] Take that! But seriously, I’d better go find someone to clean this up.
Whoo! Scoobiddy doo! Hornswaggle my goat knees! Well, ho-ho, what’s up, McGucket? Dipper, I been lookin’ for you.
I fixed the laptop.
I’ve been doin’ calculations, and I think something terrible is comin’.
The apocalypse.
The end times! [sighs] You know what, McGucket.
How about we talk about this stuff tomorrow? It’s a party.
Let’s have some fun for once, huh? Oh, this is bad! Somethin’s comin’.
Somethin’ big.
– Quick, in here, my darling.
– A moment alone at last.
You can drop the act, Trigger.
They’re seeing activity on the machine.
– It’s go time.
– Roger that.
– Where’s my phone? – I don’t have it.
Yes, you do.
It was in your purse.
[chuckles] So I’m just supposed to hold on everything for you? I asked you and we were in the car! Why do we always have to fight at parties? Not even gonna ask.

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